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."I laughed and interrupted, " ... It smells like toasted camel jockeys."The Captain and other Marines finally showed up and the Captain asked, "What the hell is going on? It smells like shit up here."I stood up and answered, "You forgot to clear the roof and we about bought the farm..."Jack interrupted, "It smells like shit because Banzai cooked up some lunch with his incendiary grenades."The Captain complained, "Hell, now we have to live with this smell. Okay you two get your asses on the roof."I pointed to Jack and said, "Sir, what are you going to do about the piece of metal sticking out of Jack's ass?"I couldn't believe what the Captain said next...Flashback – Masha – A rude introduction to America the next dayThe alarm seemed to come extremely early this morning, perhaps because I did not sleep adequately last night. I knew Louise and Linda were coming today, so I forced myself out of bed and did my morning exercises while drinking a cup of very strong tea (I probably could have. She made the same stupid mistake you did. Have a seat.I'm sure Roger will share the blanket. I only brought the one. You kidstalk amongst yourselves. I need to step away for a few minutes." "Wait!" said Mallory. "You said you could help me!" "I said I would try to help you, and I will, but first I have tovisit the privy." "The what?" Mallory asked. "Privy," Mimi repeated. "Bathroom." "They are locked," Mallory responded. "I think they keep them lockedall winter. Nobody comes to the park much this time of year." "I'll manage," said Mimi, and promptly walked off. Roger and Mallory looked at each other. Then Mallory sat down andRoger spread part of the blanket around her. "Thanks. I've been freezing all night. Did she call you Roger?" "Yeah. I'm... a guy. I turned myself into a female last night. NowI'm stuck." "Oh," Mallory replied. "You can see what I did to myself." Silence.Then, "Are you gay?" "What?" exclaimed Roger. "No! No, I'm not. I was....
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